60 ways to get kicked out of WalMart!
by ectofeaturette
Summary: What the title says! Rated T for profanity.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, I saw a bunch of people doing this with Danny Phantom, and I thought, "why don't I do this with FOP?" And here it is! ON-ITH WITH MAH STORY…ITH!

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN THE FAIRLY ODDPARENTS OR DANNY PHANTOM! HOW MANY F*CKING TIMES DO I GOTTA TELL YA THAT! Oh, and I don't own Wal-Mart either…

14 year old Timmy Turner sat on his bed, bored out of his skull, thinking of what to do when his fairies, Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof poofed in.

"Hey Sport, whatcha doin'?" Wanda said.

"Nothing…being bored…" Timmy said, flopping down on his back onto his bed.

"Why don't cha go see what Jasmine's doin'?" Cosmo suggested.

"Good idea!" Timmy said, jumping up.

"Hey Jazzy!" Timmy said, hopping onto Jasmine's bed, "Whatcha doin'?"

"Looking up random junk on the Internet." Jasmine said.

"Like what?" Timmy said, looking at her pink laptop.

"Well, I saw some stuff about ways to get kicked out of Wal-Mart, but-," Jasmine said, getting interrupted by Timmy exclaiming, "AWESOME! WHAT'RE WE GONNA DO FIRST?"

"What…?" Jasmine said.

"I said, 'What're we gonna do first?' like, on the list for ways to getting kicked out of Wal-Mart" Timmy said.

"I don't know, babe. I don't really feel like getting kicked out of Wal-Mart…" Jasmine said.

"Come on, Boo, It'll be fun. PLEASE?" Timmy said,, giving her puppy-dog eyes.

"…UGH! I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT TO ME! FINE! I'LL DO IT!" Jasmine yelled.

"YES!" Timmy hissed, "LET'S GO!"

"We're gonna need some help, instead of just us." Jasmine said.

"AWWWW!" Timmy whined.

"You're such a child." Jasmine said.

Okay, here are the…ma-jiggers…

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals  
>2. Walk up to an employee and tell himher in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares,…"and see what happens.  
>3. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&amp;M's on lay away.<br>one of the workers who is making a pyramid or a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that's on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a "Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off"

6. Buy a $200 item and pay for it all in pennies. Lose count at least two times.  
>7. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible'.<p>

8. Move a 'CAUTION – WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.  
>9. Sit down and relax on the patio furniture until they kick you out<br>10. Set up a tent in the camping department  
>11. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.<br>12. Take pictures of absolutely everything.  
>13. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?<br>14. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"  
>17. See what you can "catch" by casting fishing poles into different isles.<br>18. Play football and see how many people you can get to join in.  
>19. Play soccer using the whole store as your field<br>20. Try on bras over your clothes in the middle of the store.  
>21. Try to get people to race you across the store.<br>22. Sit on the floor and watch T.V. in the electronics department.  
>23. Pretend to speak a different language and see how many weird looks you get<br>24. Superglue quarters to the floor and count how many people try to pick them up  
>25. Switch all the radios to strange stations suck as polka or Mexican rap and turn the volume all the way up.<br>26. Fill up carts and just leave them around the store.  
>27. When someone is behind you in a narrow aisle, walk very slowly, humming to yourself.<br>28. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and pretend to be superman.  
>30. Walk up to random strangers and say "I haven't seen you in so long!" etc.<br>31. Do the same thing, except ask for their autograph.  
>32. Play Red Rover with other customers. Except don't tell them that they're playing.<br>33. Test brushes and combs  
>34. Take up an entire toy aisle with a G.I. Joe vs. Rescue Heroes battle of epic proportions.<br>35. Take bets on the battle.  
>36. Have sword fights with tubes of wrapping paper.<br>37. Follow people.  
>38. Play with the price scanners.<br>39. Spray air-freshener everywhere.  
>40. Play with the automatic doors.<br>41. Make a pillow fort.  
>43. Shopping cart races. Enough said.<br>44. Crawl into gym bags and laundry hampers.  
>48. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's<br>49. "Re-alphabetize" the books.  
>50. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.<br>51. Running around the store screaming walmart sucks, walmart sucks let's go to target!  
>52. Buy a candybar. Eat it. Get back in line. Buy another candy bar. Eat it. Get back in line. Repeat until you get bored.<br>53. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines, relax and if the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.  
>57. Spill clear soap down an aisle.<br>58. Talk to the lady at the cash register for a whole 20 minutes about unicorns.

59. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream."NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

to be a monkey and get on all fours screaming "Oo-oo-aaa-aa!" And attack whoever buys bananas.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, here's the second chapter!

Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals 

Timmy and Jasmine had gotten Adam, Azelea, Danny, Jazz, Tucker, Sam, Cosmo,Wanda, Blonda, and Poof, (Disguised as humans) to help them with their shananigans.

"Come on, guys!" Timmy said, running to the clock section. (A/N: I don't know what the place with the clocks is called!)

"Is it just me or does he seem a little _too _excited about this?" Sam asked.

"It's fine. He's _always_ been saying he wanted to do one of these since we were little." Jasmine told them. That got a collective 'Ah' from everyone but the fairies.

"That explains _a lot_." Danny said.

Down by where Timmy was, he had already sat all the clocks for the right time.

"Well, it took ya long enough!" Timmy said.

"Well, we couldn't keep up with you running that fast!" Cosmo said.

"Yeah, you're acting like your ten again!" Wanda said.

"AM NOT!" Timmy yelled. Everyone just stared at him. He chuckled nervously.

"Well, we should walk away and see what happens now that the clocks are ready!" Tucker said. A couple minutes later, a woman walked by the clocks. A clock blared its loud ring, making the woman scream and run away. The gang just started laughing their heads off.

"That was _priceless_!" Timmy said.

"Who knew scaring the _heck_ out of strangers could be so AWESOME!" Jasmine said with an evil smile on her face.

"Umm…Jasmine? Are you okay?" Azelea asked.

"Huh? Oh, I'm just _perfect_…" Jasmine replied.

" Does she always get this way?" Sam asked.

"Sometimes. When she does stuff she knows is bad, she gets crazy because that's the way she was raised. How you say, a goody-goody. That's why we usually make her forget what she did so she doesn't go crazy." Blonda said.

"LET'S GO DO ANOTHER ONE!" Jasmine screamed, running off.

JASMINE WENT CRAZY! Oh, and, yes, Timmy is gonna be childish in this since in the movie, he stays childish to keep Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof. R&R! CLICK THE LITTLE BUTTON BELOW! YOU KNOW YOU WANNA! :D


	3. Chapter 3

TWO IN ONE DAY! WOOT!

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares,…"and see what happens.

"OH! OH! I WANNA DO THIS ONE!" Jasmine said, jumping up and down.

"Jasmine, honey, I think you need to calm down-," Wanda said, being interrupted by Jasmine.

"I SAID I WANNA DO IT! AIIIIIIIIE!" Jasmine yelled, pouncing on Wanda.

"AAAAHHHH! SOMEONE, ANYONE, HEEELLLLLPPPP!" Wanda screamed.

"Uh, uh…I'M GOING IN!" Timmy said, jumping into the fight. A moment later, Timmy came out, holding Jasmine, who was flailing her arms around and screaming. Cosmo came and helped up Wanda, who was close to passing out. Timmy set Jasmine down, but held her arms to her side.

"WHAT THE HECK, JASMINE!" Timmy screamed.

"LEMME GO!" Jasmine screeched, trying to get out of her boyfriend's grasp.

"COSMO, WANDA! I WISH I HAD A LEASH FOR HER!" Timmy said.

_Poof!_

Jasmine now had on a harness and leash…or, in other words, a toddler leash in her size.

"TIMMY! I WILL KILL YOU!" Jasmine said, trying to catch Timmy.

"AAAHHH! GUYS, HELP MEEE!" Timmy yelled, running around to avoid his crazy girlfriend.

"Well, all for letting them settle this on their own, raise your hand." Sam said. Everyone then raised their hand.

"I think I should do this one." Danny said.

"Sure." Everyone agreed. Danny walked up to a scrawny employee that looked about 16, with a serious look on his face and cleared his throat.

"Code 3 in housewares…" Danny said. The boy's eyes widened.

"OH GOD, NO!" He screamed and ran away screeching. Danny dropped right there and started cracking up until Timmy ran by with Jasmine close behind.

Yea…Jasmine dislikes leashes….R&R!


	4. Chapter 4

Who wants another chapter? YOU DO! …I hope…

3. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

Everyone except for Timmy and Jasmine were by the greeting card section.

"Where do you think Timmy and Jasmine are?" Jazz asked.

"What I'm more worried about is what did Jasmine do to Timmy?" Cosmo said. Everyone thought of it and shuddered. They soon heard muffled screams and turned to see Timmy walking towards them with Jasmine strapped to one of those buggies with the chairs with a bandana wrapped around her mouth.

"Dude, what'd you do to her?" Adam asked.

"Long story, what are we doing next?" Timmy said.

"Uhhh…putting a bag of M&M's on lay away." Tucker said, looking at the list.

"OH! Can I do this one?" Cosmo asked.

"Uhhh…sure." Everyone said.

"YAY!" Cosmo shouted. Cosmo went and grabbed a bag of M&M's and went up to the cashier.

"Hey, can you put these on layaway?" Cosmo asked her.

"Uhhh…what…?" the girl asked.

"I _said_: Can you put my M&M's on layaway?" Cosmo asked again.

"Um…I'm pretty sure that's not possible…"She said.

"WHY NOT!" Cosmo shouted.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" She screamed and ran away. Cosmo and his friends (except Jasmine, who was still trying to get loose) all began to laugh. Soon after they ended their laughing fit, Sam asked Timmy, "Ya think we should let Jasmine go?"

"NO!" Timmy and Wanda said at the same time. Their reaction earned a muffled 'HMMPH!' and a death glare from Jasmine. Timmy, seeing Jasmine's look, said, "…_maybe…_" Everyone just shrugged it off and walked away to do the next thing on the list, Jasmine being pushed in the cart by Timmy with them.

…uhhhh….I got nothin'….R&R!


	5. Chapter 5

Hey yew persons! YAAY! I'M NOT DEAD! I just need to say dis 'fore I respond to yer reviews: I LOVEST YOU ALL WITH ALL DA HOMO IN MY LITTLE HEART. :3

Anonymous: …I feel so bad for you. THAT'S BAD PARENTING. JK.

TheOne: Next time I go to Lowe's, Imma do that. :D

hunter: Thanks! 3

LuNa: I know. I try my hardest. :3

Anonymous: OHMAIGAWD. YOU TOOK THAT MEMORY COURSE TOO?

one of the workers who is making a pyramid or a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that's on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

The gang was by the deli, negotiating which of them was going to do the next prank.

"I think I should do it!"

"NO! _I _should do it!"

"Why can't I do it?" Finally, Sam was fed up with it all and screamed, "SHUT. UP!"

All heads turned to the Goth, shocked at her outburst. Sam continued.

"Look. I think you all should quit fighting and think about who would do it the best." Everyone considered her suggestion for a moment before Danny said, "Well, considering what she's been doing this whole time, I think Jasmine should do it." After another moment, everyone agreed…except for Timmy and Wanda.

"What she's been doing the whole time is the _exact _reason why we should keep her tied up!" Timmy said.

"Yeah! I don't wanna get bitten by her again!" Wanda said, holding up her right arm, which had a bite mark on it.

"C'mon Timmy! She's your _girlfriend_! Let her have _some_ fun!" Azelea said. Timmy turns to Jasmine and says, "Just…don't kill anybody…" before untying the girl. Jasmine stands up calmly, walks up to the pink-hatted boy she calls her boyfriend…and smacks him. Hard.

"GAH!"

Timmy cradles his cheek and says, "WHAT THE HELL, JASMINE!"

Jasmine shrugs.

"That was for tying me up…Sorry." She says before kissing his cheek.

"'Kay. Now Imma go have a panic attack for some shampoo." …And everyone just stares at her in a confused silence.

Jasmine walks up to the same boy from Chapter 3, who was stacking up shampoo bottles with angry look on his face.

"Hey, can I get that bottle right…there." She said, pointing to a bottle on the bottom.

"Why don't you get one on, oh, I dunno…the top?" The boy replied sarcastically.

"Because _maybe_ I want one on the bottom!" Jasmine said angrily. The boy looked furious now.

"Listen here, _chick._ I've had a rough day today. First, some _jerk _comes up and tells me 'Code 3 in housewares' , BUT THERE WAS NO CODE 3 IN HOUSEWARES! Then, my boss says if I lie to him again about there being a code 3 in housewares, that he's gonna _fire_ me! So he told me to do the worst job he could give me! _This!_" He gestured to the pyramid of shampoo bottles, "stacking up _this shit! _And now you come up to me, asking me for a bottle on the _bottom! No! You're not getting it!_" He shouted. Jasmine, instead of having a panic attack like she was supposed to, simply grabbed a bottle from the bottom, and made a run for it, cackling all the way to her friends. The boy fumed on the spot, his freckled face turning red.

"**I **_**QUIT!**_" He shouted, and stomped towards the door.

Jasmine reached the gang and stopped to take a look at the bottle.

"Hmmm…Passion Fruit, eh? I DON'T EVEN LIKE THIS FLAVOR!" She yelled and threw it over her shoulder, eventually hearing a loud '_OW!' _and looking back to see she'd hit the boy on the head on his way out. Jasmine snickered. "Jerk…" She muttered.

READ AND REVIEW!

And to Abby: HAI! 3


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